Workshop Reflection

After work shopping with my inquiry group, a few things became apparent to me regarding me writing. This was a learning experience for me. I have never written an exploratory essay prior to this and I wasn’t quite sure how to go about doing it. I quickly realized that I couldn’t write this paper as I had written others in the past. It was challenging in the fact that I had to make connections between multiple articles as well as quote the articles and use what the other is saying rather my opinion towards a subject. My Inquiry group mates were very helpful in assessing my paper and giving me feedback as to what I could do better.

What advice did you receive from each member of your group?

Meredith was very helpful in her advising. She has the same issues with writing that I do. We tend to be opinionated in our writing and can also tend to over write and stray from the topic at hand. She suggested that instead of using my opinion to use quote the author and agree or disagree with the stance of the author. She said to use the writing as evidence and relate it back to what I am stating. Furthermore, she liked the placement of my questions and the fact that with some questions I asked them and then stated an answer; others I left for the reader to ponder about.

Lynnsey said a lot of what Meredith said as well. She suggested that I steer away from my opinions and to connect with the author more. One suggestion that was very helpful was for me to go through and highlight my opinions and then go find a quote from the articles that I can use to replace the opinionated statement. One thing I was very thankful that Lynnsey did was, as we were reading the paper, she was correctly some grammatical errors and underlined words that may not be the best choice for the sentence.

Joseph agreed with both Meredith and Lynnsey regarding the opinion statements. He suggested that I break the larger paragraphs with questions in to more paragraphs to separate them out and make it flow better. He suggested that I use a few of the golden lines form the articles in to convey my opinion indirectly.

What was the most/least helpful piece of advice you received?

The most helpful piece of advice I received was, instead of using my opinion to convey a message, to use quotes from the articles to convey my opinion indirectly as well as state the authors’ opinion. The least helpful piece of advice would have to be the grammatical errors. After reading the paper through I was able to catch most of the grammatical errors myself. I still do appreciate that they took the time and effort to correct them.

What are your plans for revision?

I plan on sitting down and re-reading my paper first off. As I read through it I am going to high light each opinionated sentence. For every grammatical error I find I am going to use a different colored writing utensil to mark it with what it should be. After going through my paper I am going to re-read every article and highlight the lines that I feel would be of benefit to my paper. I am going to find lines that complement each other as well as some that pose questions to the others accuracy of information. This will allow a basis for me to be able to discuss each side without using my opinion. I plan on keeping my intro relatively the same. The body will be structured differently. I am going to break the larger paragraphs in to smaller more intimate paragraphs that will most likely contain my questions. My conclusion currently is non-existent. It needs to be rewritten and needs to be able to convey my thesis clearly.

One thing I know I need to do, as well as the rest of my group members, is learn how to appropriately quote inline citations. None of us knew how to do that correctly. I know that I didn’t quote any of my quotes thus far.  

After reviewing the pieces we have read over the course of the semester thus far, three articles jumped out to me with one large connection. “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work”, “What is a 21^st Century Liberal Education”, and “Montessori Education – American Montessori Academy” all focus on students and how they are taught/ how they learn. Two of the articles go in depth on certain styles of educating students while the third focuses on the social class structure and how that effects the differentiation of education. There were three common themes in the articles. The first one being the environment in which students learn. In “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of work” the “Elite” class has the upper hand on education. They are designed to “develop one’s analytical intellectual powers.” This is a key concept that the Montessori education system has nearly mastered. They allow the students to have a “learning triangle” between the student, teacher, and learning environment. I believe that empowering the students allows for their intellectual potential to reach its peak. When an individual can teacher another person a piece of information it not only allows for the person receiving the information a new insight on a topic, but also allows the person who taught the material to further mature the knowledge in their mind. Now of course, the system isn’t perfect. In order for a student to be successful at a Montessori school they need to be driven, capable of critical thinking, and the ability to lead others. Not all students in these schools have these imperative qualities, nor can they be taught through years of schooling; they must be born with them. I feel that the Montessori school is on the right path towards educational success. They are providing students with the environment to reach their full potential. For those students that don’t have an option or qualifications to go to a Montessori school, they are still able to find environments that nurture their potential and teach the valuable qualities that ensure a successful future. I personally have always gone to a liberal education school based in an elite class ecosystem. I was fortunate enough to receive a Montessori, Liberal Education mix. I loved having a general knowledge of the world but a more intimate relationship with the subjects that sparked my interest and my wanting to learn. After reading about articles and realizing that the learning environment is one of the most crucial elements to a student’s success, I am left wondering, why haven’t all schools adopted a hybrid of Montessori and liberal education models, and then bring them to the forefront of the public education system? Why is it that only select student’s get to have a Montessori education, and that a vast majority of students must wait until college to receive a full liberal education system? It seems pointless to have a public education system that doesn’t allow each and every student to reach the pinnacle of their intellectual abilities. If the public education system was able to teach a full liberal education to every student then every student would need college and then a college degree would hold the same weight as it did 20 years ago. A degree wouldn’t be a necessity for an entry level position any more.

The next theme, which stood out more than any other, was that of being socially responsible. In each piece, it talks about social responsibility regarding the student. From a young age, every student in every school, across every social class, has a preconceived notion of what they are going to amount to in their pubescent, leading into adulthood, lives.  “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work” goes in depth into what each child is expected to achieve based on what socioeconomic group in which they are a part of. A child that is raised in a working class family is only taught simple punctuation and rarely can make educational decisions, due to the fact the teacher makes them all for the students, because they are not looked at as being able to overcome the social stigma placed on them and better themselves for a successful future. Whereas the Affluent Professional Schools and the Elite Schools, are automatically pushed to be the best they can be. They are taught to inquire, to ask questions, and politely dismiss a classmate’s query if it is deemed incorrect. The teacher is merely there to steer their thinking and inquiries in the right direction. This shows that students, depending on what class they are in, either are allowed to have their own voice, or have to merely follow the decisions made by the teacher. This country was founded on freedom of speech and freedom of expression, yet schools are the one place where those rights are suppressed and where those that express themselves are punished. Why is that? Why is it okay to tell a child they are wrong for what they say or do, and to punish them for wanting to go about learning a different way? I now see why having a liberal education is limited to college students. College students are deemed more mature and capable of holding intellectual conversations, whereas secondary education students aren’t deemed eligible. Every student is capable of achieving higher intellectual learning then their class deems them able to. That is why those students go off to college; to increase their knowledge base. Why not just allow them to take more rigorous courses at a younger age?  

After thinking about my previous theme I was able to see another. These articles focus on the students of the upper crust. The only article to mention the lower classes was “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work”. For me, this solidifies my belief that this country tends to focus heavily on those that are able to become self-sustaining, positive benefactors to society. It is my belief that yes, those that are capable of achieving higher levels or success than others be nurtured, but I also feel as if those that are in a lower class also need to be nurtured. If they aren’t nurtured then we are wasting millions of dollars on sub-par education and should be held responsible for the lack of cognitive development of these students.   Why does this country put a label on a student before they are even given the chance to prove they are deifferent?

Really Responding to Other Students' Writing Reading Response

Richard Straub is a Professor at Florida State University, and teaches writing, rhetoric, and literature. This article is about peer revisions and how to revise and go over a fellow students work correctly. I like how he setup the article. He would ask a question and then answer it using both points of view.  He explains how to determine what to revise and what to focus on. If it is the first draft of an essay he says not to focus on the little things, like grammar and spelling; those will hopefully be worked out by the final draft. He instead says to focus on the assignment and what is asking for. It was stated in the article that we are readers and only readers. We aren’t teachers or judges. We aren’t professionally trained nor masters in language. We have no right to change the piece because it isn’t ours, we didn’t write it.

I agree with his points on every level. I know that when someone critiques my writing I tend to take offense when others tell me what I should and shouldn’t have in there. I admire and respect those that ask questions and cause me to push on my ideas. Having someone review your paper that is a peer is, I feel, crucial to being a great writer. The more people that read a piece of writing the easier it is for the writer to understand what they are doing right and what may not be being conveyed. It allows insight from others points of view, which is needed for academic success.

I have a few golden lines for this article. “You’re not the writer; you’re a reader. One of many. The paper is not yours; it’s the writer’s.” I choose this line because it is the thesis for the entire article. It states that you are the reader and that is it. It explains why the rest of the article was written, to explain how to critique ones’ papers as a reader.

The other line I choose is “Don’t be Stingy.”  This line stuck out to me. It is telling the reader to give critiques that have some depth. Whether they are positive or negative critiques they need to have enough information behind them to allow someone to believe that it can be beneficial for their writing.

On the Uses of Liberal Education

This article was one of the few articles we have read in class that captured my interest and made me actually think about those that don’t have the same lifestyle as I do. I was baffled at the beginning of the article when he started telling the group they were cheated and that rich people get it all. I was taken aback because I feel that no matter where you come from or you socioeconomic status, that everyone has the ability to achieve greatness and become “rich”. I was greatly pleased to see that the program was focused on post-traditional college ages rather than high schooler’s; the typical focus of education studies. This group was a very diverse group with different heart wrenching stories of how they got where they were, but they all had one common thread; this was it. This was their last chance to make a dramatic change in their life, to become “rich”. I took for granted learning about the humanities; they were just another course that I was required to take in high school and college. I didn’t put much thought into how they helped me as a person, how they made me “rich”. They helped me to understand the political game of life and how to win at the game. It was remarkable to see the transformation of the 16 students that made it thru the program. It isn’t as if they were “bad” students or people at the beginning of the course, but they just weren’t afforded the opportunities to learn and thrive. I was astonished to see that by the end of the course they were able to hold conversations on intellectual levels that most college students would deem over their heads. They even were able to dumbfound the professor, which is a rarity when the question Is on the professors forte. 

Response to Class 2.11

Response to Class

Today in class we spent over an hour discussing simple questions that can only be answered with complex opinions. Two simple questions were asked, “should everyone go to college?” and “is there an equal and open opportunity to go to college?”. These questions facilitated some very thought provoking discussions and ultimately allowed us to see our fellow classmates view points on this these topics.

I don’t believe that everybody should go to college. There is no sense in spending thousands of dollars if you don’t have the aspirations or desire to achieve anything in life. Some people are perfectly content working an entry level job with mediocre pay. If everyone went to college then the lower level jobs would not be easily filled. One point that was made during the discussion was that of “Academic Inflation” and that if everyone went to college and was able to graduate, that the value of having a degree would decrease. In the latter half of the 1990’s and early 2000’s a Bachelor’s degree was enough for you to make it pretty far up the corporate ladder. In the 1970’s and 80’s you didn’t even need a degree to become a chief executive. As long as you were able to prove that you were the best for the job, then you were awarded it.

We discussed that if you were going to go into law or medical fields than you needed to go to grad school. However, if you were planning on going in to business than getting your MBA wasn’t always a necessity. If you are on track to become a CFO or CEO than yes you will need to get an MBA in order to effectively learn how to run a company. Otherwise the company in which you work for will allot the time to train you in their ways and their business model. The things you learn in grad school will most likely never be used outside of the class you needed them for.

We then deviated towards the second question. I believe that there is an equal and open opportunity for everyone to go to college.  There isn’t a law that says certain people aren’t allowed to go to college. Everyone can go to school, no if and’s or but’s. Some classmates brought up the fact that not everyone can pay for school. Financial assistance is an amazing yet, one of the most detrimental government programs. It offers grants, and loans for student students to be able to attend college and not worry about how they are going to pay for it until after they graduate. This is a great thing unless you are a student that doesn’t deserve it. It is very easy to qualify for financial aid. As long as your parent’s make less than $80,000 combined household income you are usually awarded grants and federal aid, regardless of your GPA or community involvement. I believe the government needs to have more strict qualifications to obtain financial assistance.

Overall it was a very thought provoking and beneficial discussion that we had. I hope that we can continue conversations like this throughout the semester. 

"Women without Class" Reading Response

When the article started the first thing that I thought of was a typical high school. That there were your preps and non-preps. As I continued reading the article turned in to a race article more than an article based on school. The article highlighted the differences in the students more than the school as a whole. When it talked about the “preps” they talked about how they wear nice clothing that makes them look like a lady and wear makeup that enhances the natural beauty. Then the article went on to talk about the las chicas group; where they would wear half shirts and jeans that hug their bottoms but then flared out at the bottom. They would wear dark colored lip stick to try and show sophistication and maturity. Whereas the preps would use light colors that would show innocence. Overall the article made me think about how minority groups act in schools in order to separate themselves from the whole.  Whether they separate themselves for a positive reason or a negative reason doesn’t seem to matter nor influence their decisions. The article went over how they are working class and how they are taught basic vocational classes. They aren’t pushed in school, nor do they respect school. They are rude and disrespectful towards their teachers and they aren’t interested in anything except socializing and meeting a boy.

Response to class 2/6

Today in class we discussed the different school classifications in society.  I came to a realization that, yes schools are classified by the area in which they are located, but that they can be looked at as being sub divided.

When looking at the classifications and how each school under that classification was ran, it made me see that the public school system has some serious problems.

When looking at the working class schools it was sad to see that the students there were being taught simple punctuation rather than more advanced concepts. They weren’t expected to amount to anything higher than what they were raised in; meaning that they were expected to be the working class Americans working the minimum wage jobs. The kids in these schools could be some of the most brilliant minds of this generation but wouldn’t be able to reach their full potential because of how they are looked at. For a student to be taught the simplest form of each subject and to be told that they aren’t going to amount to anything is against everything this country claims to stand for. What’s troubling is that these kids could have very bright futures but instead are turned into “scanners”. They simply were told facts by teachers and then memorized them for a test. They never actually committed the facts and concepts to memory.

Then we moved on to talking about the middle class schools, or the “textbook” schools. These types of schools are the most prevalent in this country. These are the schools where teachers lecture about a topic and then have the students reread what the teacher went over and then answer questions located in the back of the textbook. This is where the concept of “busy work” came from. A teacher will give the student a work load that is designed to have the student reinforce the information time and time again. My middle school was a middle class school.  I couldn’t stand the way I was taught in middle school. I hated that I was only given a basic lecture on basic concepts and then given mountains of work to do to pound the information in to my mind.

Affluent professional schools are specialty schools where creativity and freedom are nurtured. The students in these schools take pride in their work and go above and beyond the basic expectations. These are the schools that will learn about hieroglyphics and then created their own. These schools allow students to express themselves and not be suppressed by the rigid curriculum of most other schools.

The final class was the Elite class. This is the kind of school in which I attended my first three years of high school. This type is where students thrive. A majority of these students’ parents are business executives and highly successful individuals. These students are expected to achieve no less than what their parents have. They are taught to critically think as well as to be able to take a concept and adapt it to the situation at hand.

Writing History Response Critique

Writing History Response Critique

1. What was the most helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.

After reviewing all of the comments I noticed a few comments that kept appearing. I was explaining life situations but I lacked the how and why aspect of it. I wasn’t being as thorough as I needed to be in order to fully explain how the event impacted me as a writer.

2. What was the least helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.

In one piece of my paper there was a comment that said for me to “tell me more”. I am not quite sure what else to say. I would have liked to see a few more examples or trigger words that would allow me to view my writing from a different angle.

3. What questions do you have about Megan’s comments?

I don’t really have many comments about Megan’s comments. I do really like how a lot of the comments were phrased as questions that allowed me to further expand on my ideas.

4. What are your plans for revision?  Be specific.  I should be able to understand exactly how your work will change in exactly which places.

I have some major plans for revisions. I understand now that I need to emphasize more on the how and why and not so much the what. In two places in my paper it was stated that I am veering of topic and that certain things don’t pertain to the purpose of the paper. I am going to shorten down the experiences and then explain how and why they sculpted my writing.

I realize that my conclusion is weak and that it needs to be rewritten. It needs to explain how I feel towards writing today and why I am the writer I am today. I have a lot to work on and plan on completely reworking the pieces that need to be revised.